Decades ago, I read a quote from Jennifer Lopez (probably published in the now-defunct Teen People magazine) about how she loves La Mer's hero Creme de La Mer face cream so much, she uses it all over her whole body. It sticks out as strong in my mind as the memory of Mariah Carey on MTV's Cribs walking on her treadmill in heels—despite that the two claim not to know each other. The idea of being so glamorous that coating your entire body in a $300 cream designed for your face was so luxurious to me. Like, could you imagine? That was the kind of life I wanted to live, but you know, I couldn't exactly justify taking my prized jar filled with the famed "miracle broth" to my extremities.
It wasn't until very recently that I learned La Mer actually made a body creme ($275; nordstrom.com), and naturally, I was intrigued enough to pick up a jar. Sure, the price tag is roughly the same as the deluxe-sized Creme de La Mer my mother once mistook for hand cream (which sent me into a panic), but you get a far more sizeable amount to live out your Jennifer Lopez dreams, and since it's designed for the body, it isn't as weighty as the dense formula you'd spread onto your face.
VIDEO: 5 of the Most Expensive Facials on the Market
If you're familiar with the OG La Mer formula, you'll know its now-infamous "miracle broth" contains a mixture of antioxidants and algae so potent, legend has it that creator Dr. Max Huber used the blend to heal severe burns he had gotten while in the lab. All of La Mer's products include the blend, and the Body Creme certainly isn't excluded.
Dubbed a "seaweed wrap in a jar," the hero ingredient of blue algae with a side of hyaluronic acid help even the driest skin types retain moisture. My skin in particular needs extra hydration, and not just in the winter time. I get these weird bumps on my arms—people call them "ketosis pilaris," but in my formative years, I just called them embarrassing. I hated wearing short-sleeved tops because I felt like everyone was looking at them, I'd scrub the crap out of my arms, and not much seemed to help. The bumps faded in intensity as I got older, but they were still there, and it bothered me enough to dig one out with my nails when the urge got the better of me.
A $300 body cream seems like an excessive way to fix the problem, but somehow, it seemed to work. A few weeks after slathering the stuff on became part of my nightly ritual, the bumps were almost nonexistent, and the benefits weren't just restricted to my arm area. The stuff kept my legs so hydrated, I only had to use it a few times a week to keep my skin in check, and dare I say, the stretch marks near my butt that I was also once so insecure about looked less intense.
Yes, I put La Mer Body Creme on my butt. I'm still Jenny from the Block.